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Blog entry by James Harder

The One Topic Men And Women Never Agree On
The One Topic Men And Women Never Agree On

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I have a friend who has a somewhat sizable share of adoring female fans. tall, handsome, and earnest in a “guy who’d play a widowed bagel shop owner in a screwball comedy  starring katherine heigl” sort of way, he’s the type of guy most other guys would assume had good luck with the ladies, so the attention he receives isn’t surprising. I guess he’d be the “anti-jay-z“.

What is surprising, though, is the amount of attention his girlfriend receives among my friends…and how the general feeling about her is split into two distinct and decisive gender-based factions. basically, the men think she’s hot, the women think she’s not, and her level of attractiveness has been an enlightening discussion topic.

At first i assumed that the ladies’ general sense of “eh” in regards to her was birthed in a big ole bucket of haterade, but i soon realized that it wasn’t envy as much as its “she’s just not good-looking enough to be with him” (which brings up an entirely different “damned if you do, damned if you don’t: women are hypocrites” argument, but today isn’t the day for that). They just don’t see what we see when we see her, and no amount of convincing has been able to sway them to even entertain the idea that she’s attractive.

While this debate was somewhat unexpected, it really shouldn’t be. Men and women never seem to agree about women’s looks…especially if its not an easy call. Sure, most men and women would agree that nia long is great-looking and Elena Kagan is, well, Elena Kagan, but once you leave “fine” and venture over to “cute” and “attractive” territory, their idea of what should make a woman appealing rarely matches our idea of what actually does. Seriously, i’d bet a week of kelis child support checks that if i chose 30 random pics of women from alltheparties.com and asked a group of 10 men and 10 women to rank them, the women’s top seven and the men’s top seven would house completely different people.

In summary: nas has terrible luck with women

Anyway, i’m not exactly sure why this drastic difference in opinion exists, but i have a few theories:

a) It’s God’s payback for men pretending not to know which guys women find attractive.

This theory holds water until you realize that our act is not an act at all. we really have no f*cking clue. For every idris elba and boris kodjoe (men that other men can understand why women are interested in them) there seems to be ten maxwell’s and lil wayne’s (men whose pull on women completely baffles other men), and this confuses us so much that we just stop trying.

b) We just have different ways of looking at women

***Things a typical man notices when first looking at maliah michel (the video vixen/stripper/myspace supermodel pictured above)***

Pretty. nice hips and thighs. surprisingly small waist for hips and thighs that size. Surprisingly small tummy for hips and thighs that size. considering size of hips and thighs, as well as 8 inch distance between her and drake, likely holding mega-donk. Long legs. Looks like she smells like peach cobbler.

***Things a typical woman notices when first looking at maliah michel***

Gold stretch pants in may? what year is this, 1984? this b*tch thinks she’s jennifer beals. she should probably do a crunch or two the next time she rocks a see-thru shirt. You can’t have A-cups if your arms are that big. She could be cute if she didn’t look like drake just farted. If she’s been dancing all night, I know it smells like broccoli underneath those american apparel flashdance pants.

c) Women are natural haters

***Even though this has no real relevance to this topic, i just wanted to put it out there. carry on***

d) Women actually are very aware of who and what we find attractive, but their consistent contrasting  is just them attempting to convince us that were the ones who have no idea what attractive means

Basically, they’re trying some elaborate jedi sh*t to influence our thought patterns and opinions by ovary osmosis. might seem far-fetched, but adam did eat the apple, so anything is possible


  

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